Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
A Bad Movie Studios Review
Here we go. The first entry in Bad Movie Studios Halloween-A-Thon, Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers. As I said in my last update, I’m going to be reviewing some onf the Halloween films as a part of Halloween-A-Thon (hence the name). I already did the first one, and you can see that review on the Bad Movie Studios Facebook page. But now it’s time to really get into something awful. The vile mess that was able to do more harm to Michael Myers than Lori Stroad, Dr. Loomis, falling off a roof, getting shot in the face, being set on fire and playing dummy to a firing squad could ever do. Yes, this is the movie that killed Michael Myers. And I’m not just talking about the character. Oh no. I’m talking about the Halloween franchise as a whole. But thankfully I’m not doing this alone. Nope, I got my buddy and fellow Halloween fan, Willy Seven. He’s gonna give me a hand writing this thing so everything that he jots down will be lead in with his name so you know who’s talking.
Now I have to give you some backstory. In Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Michael Myers is apparently alive (he was burned to death in Halloween 2 (1981), along with Donald Pleasence playing Dr. Loomis) and returns to again stalk another member of his family, this time his niece Jamie Lloyd, the daughter of Lauri Stroad from the first two films. Dr. Loomis pursues him once more and the end of the movie has Michael shot to hell and falling down an mine shaft. Then we see Jamie Lloyd put on a clown mask and kill her foster mother, I guess the idea that she would carry on the family legacy.
Willy Seven: Now, as a big fan of the Halloween series I wish I had some more good things to say about this. Unfortunately, I don’t. Now let’s continue off the ending of Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Michael is stuck in a jail cell when a mysterious man dressed in a black coat (Seen all throughout Halloween 5) breaks in, blows up the cell, and sets Michael free. Now at the beginning of Halloween 6 we are confused. Who is the man in black? What’s the thorn symbol? Why exactly does Michael kill people? This movie attempts to answer questions but all it really does is make us more confused.
Halloween 6 dives right into the mess of that nonsense and we’re gonna do the same. So strap yourselves in for a ride, get your self some popcorn and hold on because I’m gonna tell you all about the train wreck that is Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. Let’s get started.
The opening of a film is something that I regularly talk about, because a good opening establishes the tone that the rest of the movie will play off of. The opening of this film however, couldn’t be any stranger. We have a woman who we don’t know being stretchered through some sort of factory tunnel, into this ritual type room where she gives birth to a baby. The baby gets taken to another room where we see that a cloaked figure begins some sort of ceremony. Over top we hear a voice over that retells the story of the series so far, an abridged version I might add. The Voice Over is dull and monotone. Then we cut back to that woman again and it’s revealed that she’s Jamie Lloyd from the 4th and 5th movies. The nurse who helped deliver the baby tries to help her escape and after they get split up, she;s killed by Michael Myers. I have to say that the death scene is actually pretty cool, he jams her head on a spike. Jamie manages to make her way outside and continues to try to get away from wherever the hell she is. She runs into another guy and steals his truck while he too is killed by Michael. Then She peels away as fast as she can. That opening sequence is just weird. It doesn’t establish any sort of backstory as to how we got here and just feel random. I should mention that when this movie was edited, it was so bad that they had to re shoot and change large parts of it. And it shows. There are some cool shots in the opening, but not a single drop of suspense. It all feels like the same bland stuff slapped together to be better than what it originally was. Now the original cut of this movie can be found and is dubbed, ‘The Producers Cut’. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a movie be called a Producers cut. I wonder what the Producers Cut of Troll 2 would be like. Okay enough of that.
There are just some weird things about this movie. There are shots in the beginning that are these flashy cuts that are just disorientating.
Willy Seven: We then cut away to a new character. Danny Strode is hearing voices in his head telling him to kill his family. It is suggested that this is the same thing that happened to Michael as a kid. Though, it doesn’t matter because just like with Jamie the idea of a new killer is abandoned.
Then there’s a part where a woman is getting changed before she goes to bed and on the radio a woman is talking about how attracted she is to Michael Myers. What the hell? And then right after that, it turns out that the neighbor of the woman getting changed is spying on her through her window. We follow the guy and it turns out that he’s also talking to the radio program. He’s the grown Tommy Doyle, the little kid that Jamie Lee Curtis babysat in the original. He gives some more of that monotone dooming dialogue and just comes of as a real weirdo. I mean all we know about him is that he watches women change and has some serious mental issues concerning Michael Myers.
Willy Seven: He might as well be Kristin Stewart, he’s so bland.
Dr. Loomis is in the series again for the 5th time played again by Donald Pleasence. It’s always good to see him and even thought he was really old, I still enjoy him here. To be honest, he’s the only actor I like in the movie. Everybody else is just annoying and feel like a time waste until Michael shows up to kill someone again.
Willy Seven: Now, I always admired Donald Pleasence’s performances as Loomis but in this film it feels like he has no purpose. Loomis really doesn’t do anything too worth while.
Another thing that comes across as weird is that it seems that every single character that they cut to in the beginning of this movie when they introduce them are all listening to the same radio broadcast. Really? They all just happen to be listening to the same channel?
Well to get back to the story, Jamie ends up at a bus station and calls into the radio channel that Dr. Loomis also happens to be listening to. He says that Michael’s alive and that she needs his help. Michael chases her and ends up running her truck off the road with a van. She crashes at a farm and while she’s trying to get away, Michael finds her and impales her onto a pitchfork. It’s a pretty gruesome scene and actually a decent effect. But when Michael returns to the truck to look for the baby, it’s gone.
Another thing that’s bothered me through this movie is the music. It’s for the most part remixed versions of the original music, but it doesn’t come off right and doesn’t add any suspense.
Willy Seven: We are introduced to the new dysfunctional Strode family. They are all sort of filler characters aside from Kara(Danny’s mother) and Danny. The rest of the Stroders are just their for Michael to kill off.
They are boring and uninspired characters. and as it turns out, they just so happen to be living in the Myers house back in Haddonfield Illinois. The actors that play the family are kind of bland. There’s the mother played by Kim Darby, the Father played by Bradford English. He’s a real asshole and early on you kind of can’t wait for him to die. Marianne Hagan plays Kara Strode, one of the films main characters (the girl getting spied on), Keith Bogart plays her little brother and then there’s Devin Gardner as Danny Strode. The father is a total dick. He berates Kara and then slaps her in front of the whole family, and nobody does anything about it. Well her son pulls a knife on him, but it doesn’t go anywhere.
The dialogue in this movie is terrible. Everyone just spits their lines bland and it sounds as if they’re just reading them with no charisma. It’s terrible and really makes the scenes with the main characters boring.
So Tommy Doyle goes to the bus station and finds a puddle of blood on the floor and follows the trail behind it. He goes into the bathroom, and there’s blood on the sink. He hears crying and finds Jamie’s baby, and then just takes it. And nobody says anything. He meets up with Dr. Loomis and they exchange words and spit out some exposition. Then he takes off and tells Loomis to meet him later at a rally on the college campus.
That’s another problem with this movie, it just jumps scenes way too fast without setting anything up. First we go from one group to another to another with no real advancement in the story. It’s unnecessary and isn’t helped with the blandness of the characters. Seriously, the only good actor in the whole movie is Donald Pleasence. And you know what, he can’t even save this movie. He delivers another dooming speech like he’s known for, but this time he comes across as tired and pretty much reiterates the same stuff he’s said for the last 5 films. And you know what’s really funny, the only part in the movie that made me jump in the slightest was a scene when Loomis talks to Debra Strode. And it was because the movie got loud all of a sudden. Pathetic right?
So for the next like 30 minutes, nothing of significance happens. Debra dies and we don’t even get to see it.
Willy Seven: Tommy then finds Kara and Danny Strode and tells brings them to his house where they can watch the Myers house and be safe. Over at Tommy’s house he explains to Kara that the thorn was a pagan symbol represented a demon who brought about death by the thousands. A child from each tribe was chosen and to spare an entire tribe a family bloodline must be ended. Now we finally have some insight into Michael’s mind. So he kills for his cult or tribe. Though in all honesty I think we were better off not knowing. Not having a motive just makes the character that much scarier. But maybe that’s just my opinion.
We continue to jump from scene to scene with no real advancement yet again. I mean don’t get me wrong, the story advances, but it’s not REAL advancement. It’s just things happening, and people explaining. Michael continues to kill the members of the Strode family, this time taking out the asshole father. It’s kind of cool to see him die but the death scenes themselves in the movie are really uninspired and just the same old thing we’ve seen before. Tim and his girlfriend end up going back to his house and they’re supposed to meet the radio host there, but he gets killed by Michael and they go there alone. Insert obligatory teen’s having sex here.
The sound effects in this movie are awful. Every one of them sounds like they were played through a tube. God, the music, the sound effects, the dialogue. There is nothing good to hear in this movie.
So Tim and his girlfriend do it and after Tim takes a shower he is dispatched while in the bathroom. Then Kara calls Beth (the girlfriend) on the phone and we get the “Oh no look out he;s right behind you” scene. So Beth’s dead.
Willy Seven: Danny starts hearing more voices and goes after Michael.
Kara is nowhere near as interesting as Louri Strode is as a main character and when she finally interacts with Michael Myers, it has none of the energy of the original’s chase scene. In fact, she makes him look like a fool, knocking him down the stairs. We get a false finish with Michael, because of course he isn’t dead. And then Danny and Kara make it back to Tommie’s house, just as Dr. Loomis and Tommy arrive. Then we finally get the reveal of the Man in Black. You see this guy has been with Dr. Loomis the whole film, his name is Dr. Wynn. A minor character from the first film, it turns out that HE’S the Man in Black and that he’s also the head of the cult that controls Michael Myers. So they kidnap Kara, the baby and Danny and Dr. Loomis and Tommy have to save them. It’s been just over an hour for this film and the poor acting has really taken its tole. At this point I’m ready for it to be over.
Dr. Loomis and Tommy go the the mental hospital that Michael originally escaped from. It’s where Wynn is using as a base for his cult. Loomis exchanges some dialogue with Dr. Wynn and it’s pretty bad. He literally come across like he’s so tired that he can barley get the lines out. But then again, the man was really old at this point and actually died right after the film was completed. It’s a real shame.
Tommy gets to Kara who’s locked in a cell, and Michael makes his appearance. Tommy actually manages to break open the door with a fire extinguisher by the time Michael’s lumbering ass gets to him. Myers manages to get a hand on Kara for a moment and she couldn’t over react any more than she does. They make there way over to where Dr. Wynn and his group are preparing some sort of operation. Michael shows up again but doesn’t see them and walks off grabbing a knife.
Willie Seven: Now you would think at this point the cult would just hand over the baby, Michael would kill him and that’d be that, but nope. Michael goes after everyone in the hospital.
It looks terrible because there is this horrible strobe light effect and gives chafe after Tommy and Kara again, this time with the baby and Danny in toe.
They end up in some sort of strange laboratory. Tommy tricks The Shape and injects him with a bunch of syringes of green fluid. The Kara starts beating him with a lead pipe. Michael starts to choke her to death but Danny tells him to leave her alone, and SOMEHOW that’s enough to make him stop. He approaches Danny but Tommy comes back, hits Michael with another syringe and then we get the most ridiculous jump cut ending ever.
Willie Seven: Tommy ends up beating Michael half to death with a pipe. Yeah, a pipe is what stops michael. He’s been shot in the face, set on fire, heck even blown up. But a pipe stops him.
We get cuts of Dr. Loomis walking around and he gets Kara, Danny and the Baby out. Then Tommy finishes beating Michael Myers with the lead pipe, while the camera white flashes.
Willie Seven: If that wasn’t enough all this time Michael is bleeding green. Does that make him a monster? Is that why he constantly comes back? Is he an alien? We’ll never know.
Then it just jump cuts to Dr. Loomis talking to Kara, Tommy and Danny when they ask him to go with them. Instead he says he has some unfinished business and they drive off. The camera cuts back to where Michael was and we see his mask is on the floor net to a needle and we hear Donald Pleasence scream. The scream was actually cut from the original ending of the film and it seems really out of place. Then the credits role and the movie is over.
This movie is just garbage. It’s boring, uninspired crap that drags on way too long, even thought it’s only an hour and 20 minutes. The acting is bad. The story line is worse, and at no part does the film make any real sense. The kills are bland and unoriginal, and the entire last act is just a random mass of shots strewn together in a sequence that was absolutely positively god awful. No wonder this movie killed the Halloween franchise, I’m surprised that it didn’t kill the people who went to see it out of sheer boredom. I wouldn’t even recommend this movie to those who like bad movies. In fact, I don’t recommend this movie period.
Final Rating: 47
If you’re a fan of slasher films, there are WAY better ones out there. Hell Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan, is generally looked at as a weak entry. But that movie is 80 times better than this garbage. At least I can laugh at that movie, this was like staring at Gene Wilder’s 80 year old asshole for over an hour than watch this movie again. Okay I’m exaggerating but really this movie is bad and it;s no surprise that it was so harmful to the series. And the sad part is, this is the ‘good’ version. The Producer’s Cut establishes that Michael Myers actually raped Jamie Lloyd and that the baby is his. WHAT!? Who thought having Michael Myers be Uncle-Dad was a good idea? At the end of the day, I’m happy that I’ve reviewed Halloween 6 because now it means that I’ll never have to do it again, thankfully. Well that’s part 1 of Halloween-A-Thon. Stay tuned for Part 2, we’re gonna look at Halloween H20, the 20th Anniversary to the franchise that erased 4,5 & 6 from the timeline. Thank God. Now here’s Willy Seven’s final thoughts.
Willie Seven: There’s really not much good I can say about this. One thing I do like is the Haddonfield setting. It feels like any small town which makes it that much scarier. I also like the mask and proportions of Michael. For the most part at least. But that’s all that’s good. This movie is an uninspired mess that doesn’t know what direction it wants to take the series. Overall it’s worth 1 watch if youre into Halloween. but if not then a definite skip.